And so i ask myself this perplexing question. The world is still and endangered place to live in, the street's aren't any less polluted. People are still dying every 3 seconds because of drastic poverty while people are murdered every 0.5 nano seconds because of excessive greediness, prejudice and political onslaught.

You don't pay schools to teach morality, however you pay almost everyone with a fast corruption paycheck on the dot. The under-privileged bet their lives on the line to get a degree and eventually make it, sadly the most luxurious of the elite dropout and wait for Adam's apple to fall on Eve's paradise; and still they make it.

Some of us work to have food on the table and others have the option to squander mucho dinero to get empacho on anywhere else but to eat at home. We talk to earn money and go home with just enough, others are just lucky enough, for their money can do all the talking and get them home in a car with a bag full of wishes. Some of us say " a bag full of wishes" with a sigh of desperate longing while the others say "Who needs a bag of wishes?".

The good kind find the prime of their lives at a young age with all the decent aspirations of success, regrettably they die with all the dreaming overnight. The rest of the oblivious bunch get into the life of a full-pledged drug-addict,  chain-smoker, alcoholic and worst of all suffer the fate of living a full life.

When fate robs us of our life overnight we leave people saying "She could've been everything we all thought she would be". And when we leave this forlorn world in full bloom of nothing people walk around with a wrinkle in the forehead and say "She shoud've been someone we all wanted her to be".

and so i guess this question will haunt me for the rest of my days. But then i figured...

I could be the murderer.
I could be murdered.
I could be the teacher.
I could be the smuggler.
I could be the underdog.
I could be the addict.
I could be the dreamer.
I could be the DREAM.

As of today, i choose to be the greatest peretender, hoping that the afterglow of life's living jaundice would give us the benefit of hindsight 
 
                          And so i ask YOU this question
                               WHO are YOU today?

Currently feeling: concerned citizen=)
Posted by Krappypatti on February 27, 2006 at 09:48 PM as a stickied post | 2 i can hear you

 

you know that place between asleep and awake,

where you still remember dreaming? that's where

i will always love you. that's where i'll be waiting` 
                                                             
tinkerbell

 

~did you ever think of tink falling in love?? well think again..=)

Currently listening to: i am tinkerbell
Currently reading: *believeinmagic*
Currently watching: *POOF!!*
Currently feeling: fairylike=) I AM TINK!!=)
Posted by Krappypatti on August 15, 2005 at 06:44 PM as a stickied, favorite post | sing it loud so

        This evaluation should be done by team as the name suggests. Assess your team during the planning and implementation. Follow the table for your reference. Use phrases in filling the table up.

Table 1. What Well and What Needs to be Improved during the Planning/Preparations
Aspect

    What went well
(e.g., all members present during all meetings, members showed initiative, budgeting was within the limit, solicited items in kind, learned a lot from teammates, leader-member interaction promotes team growth etc.)    What needs to be improved
(e.g., leader – team interaction lacked communication, some members need to become more responsible, budgeting and procurement of resources/materials can be made more creative
•    Conduct of meetings
•    Delegation of work
•    Accomplishment of task
•    Group atmosphere (leader-member interaction)    During the planning and preparation of the group. We already designated what materials to use for the household that would be assigned to us. Of course, in order to achieve that, we had to make an outline of our objectives and our main iterinary for the day which is to be of service to others.    There were times when we didn’t have a clear understanding of what to do and what to expect, otherwise, everything else went perfectly well.

Table 2. What Well and What Needs to be Improved during the Implementation/Activity Proper
Aspect    What went well
(e.g., good time management, planned program was implemented without problems, all materials were available, all members behaved accordingly, all members did their task, etc.)    What needs to be improved
(e.g., tardiness, patience in dealing w/difficult kids,



•    Time management of the activity proper
•    Activity’s content, relevance, and usefulness to the participants
•    Interaction with the participants (includes handling of the participants and crowd control)
•    Behavior of the team (noisy/behaved, anticipated the needs of the participants, anticipated the needs of other subgroups)
•    Flexibility and resourcefulness of the team in adapting to on-the-spot changes due to limited space, food for the participants, and other activities in the community which were made known on the day itself    •    Everyone took control off the time and maximized everything that we were capable of doing for that day.
•    We did benefit from empathizing with the family and the children, plus we learned that they were people who appreciated the simple joys in life.
•    Well, when there were group works, we followed the mechanics of the game and made people happy with what they were experiencing.
•    The team was very organized and up to date on what to inform the children and families included in the GK preparation. They were also disciplined and in fact, set a good example on the children.
•      We tried to catch-up with the time and location of the GK outreach. Whenever we weren’t able to make use of a plan, there was always a plan B.    •    The time that we had was limited, although we were able to push through the resources that we had.
•    The theme was selfless-service and hospitality. Thoug I think we didn’t have that much time to be able to show this per individual since the number of children outnumbered the students.
•    Some of the kids were stubborn and hard to please, this is the part where our patience was tested and that we had to adjust to what they wanted to happen. Although of course we still placed our foot down when it came to implementing discipline and respect.
•    The area was practically small for us to be able to perform better outdoor activities, plus the weather didn’t quite cooperate with the set date of the activity because of the fact that it was raining on that day.


Individual Evaluation
Assess yourself for based on the following criteria. Use the following qualitative descriptors: excellent, very good, fair, and poor.
1.    quality of participation - Based on the tasks assigned to you, how good were you in accomplishing these tasks?
I believe that I performed everything with heart and tried to maximize the little time that we had to the best of my abilities.

2.    initiative – Did you volunteer or take-on tasks other than what was assigned to you to help out the other members of the team? How good were you in doing this?
Well I didn’t volunteer necessarily, it was more of team work. We were all open to the idea of immersing ourselves in this activity.

3.    commitment – Did you exert enough effort to accomplish your task, never gave-up in doing things, and exercised patience especially during the implementation of the program?
Of course, even before the activity had transpired I already knew that our patience would be tried and tested. It was already a given, most especially because we were going to deal with kids. I believe I performed well and put my best foot forward. My best effort was the only thing I had to leave with them so as not to forget everything they have experienced.

4.    interaction with host family – How much effort did you make in relation with your host families? Did you help around? Made yourself worthy of their hospitality?
I was very pleased with everything that transpired throughout our interaction with the family. First of all, everyone contributed with the materials needed for the family (e.g. food, utilities etc.) Afterwards, each one of us helped with the household chores like cleaning the place up, washing the dishes. In the meantime, we were sparking up conversations with the members to make them feel at home with us. It was like we already knew each other even before the activity. The aunt who was the only adult present in the house decided to use their videoke. Suddenly everyone was singin and dancing and the best part of it was the kids and the aunt were having such a great time. I believe it was the best outreach I’ve ever had in my entire life.

5.    interaction with the participants – How much effort did you make to accommodate them? Were you patient enough especially when the participants became too rowdy or noisy?
We treated them as if they were like family to us. Although at first we seemed awkward with each other and kind of estranged. We had to break that awkward atmosphere and immersed ourselves with them. We didn’t think twice on what we could offer them because indeed we enjoyed this activity.
6.    conduct/behavior – Did I follow the security measures and mobile/gadget use? Did I arrive on time? Were my actions a help or a hindrance to the accomplishment of the activity we prepared for the GK residents?
I arrived on time and participated well when it came to the rules to follow.


What is the most significant realization you have gained from your GK experience?   

    First of all, I am into a deluge of emotions practically because I enjoyed every second spent in that extraordinary experience. In my former school, I usually left the orphanage, or the activity centers half-hearted. It’s like something was missing. It’s like I wasn’t able to maximize my potential and perform what was appropriate at that moment. And then I realized that maybe it didn’t compromise that way because I was scrutinizing such impractical ideas that I forgot the essence of this activity. And that was a problem I was able paddle my way out of. I let go of all my inhibitions and immersed myself like everyone else. I didn’t think, I just acted on every situation that came up to me. After all, actions do speak louder than words right? And I guess that was the only thing I lacked before. Now that I have compensated for my mistake in immersions and outreach activities before, I realized that they didn’t have to live as extravagant as how we live our lives. I discovered that they appreciated the simple joys they had in life, not because it was what they were used to, or because they had no other choice, but it was because they had the heart to appreciate the less complicated side of life. And that indeed was fulfillment I alone have come to admit. Why make things complicated when you can always “un-complicate” them? Sometimes the simplest acts are the ones that can mean so much more than what we actually expect, so much more that it overweighs the complicated side of life. With simplicity comes rationality and self-fulfillment. This is what I appreciated the most about this activity.

Posted by Krappypatti on September 29, 2008 at 10:52 AM | sing it loud so

Ahhhh. Finally getting the time to have all these said and done. I'm pretty much submerged in entry debts, if you ask me i actually missed posting here. But before all that fuss, i'll start off by greeting everyone the Merriest Christmas=) Cheers to you birthday boy! drink up!=)

I've practically glued myself at home these past few days, caused more harm than good as the usual hullaballoo of Christmas was outweighing the entire neighborhood but me. While everyone else finds a thing in the house to meddle with, i can't seem to make anything happen. I bet if i'd put things in simpler ways, i would've come up with the whole drama of me hurrendously dilluting my cerebrum (cerebellum? or was it hypothalamus) on some petty past-time (,daydreaming,tv,swimming,computer and whatnots). Believe it or not, this year has been different compared to my 15 other Christmas', well everything is different after all.

But amidst the onslaught in the productive department, i seemed to be excelling in all aspects of the only thing i BELIEVED i did best. And that was sticking out the pensive me.

Boy do i knock myself out whenver i realize how much belief and sparkle i've put into this guy. I remember writing "love letters" to him when the year hasn't even hit midpoint. He was really somebody, you know. If everyone looked forward to goodies, and candies, and lights, and carols, i had a completely different view of spending that yuletide cheer. Believe me when i'd say that i had to rack my brains out just to think of my santa wishlist. Plus i'd always make sure that my letters were extra pretty yet precise (boy did i go frantic about what to ask) It still bothers me though, that i'd go out of my way to become prim and proper right after Christmas Day. Just because Mom and Dad always had that biggest story mindframe instilled in me, the one about jolly old saint nick happening to know whether you did good or bad. Or that his little people, the elves( i wonder if Frodo did?=) ) would tell on you and then your Christmas morning would be totally deserted. Though Mom and Dad always warned me about not having gifts on Christmas morning because i wasn't doing any good to anyone. And through my 15 Christmas' i pretty much figured out who they really were, but that story i'd have to save for myself. So this is my 16th Christmas, and yes Santa still drops by to leave his goodies, some of you can believe me and some of you won't( or even all of you), but i still say that  having Santa Claus come over on Christmas morning was certainly something else.

P.S. Dad thinks i'm the only one in the batch still believing in Santa=)

I don't think soo=)

Currently listening to: Try again today-the Charlatans
Currently feeling: pensive
Posted by Krappypatti on December 25, 2006 at 10:09 PM | sing it loud so

I've been having dreams of people i've been missing lately. It's like they won't go away, not that i want them to. But in the dream, i was driving them all away, and they kept on telling me that they weren't going anywhere. They told me they'd be sticking around. It's these constant images of dejavus, things that could've happened, or better yet, things that might've happened. It bothers me to realize at the end of it all that i was right all along. That everything was just some cloud of indifference that was hard to get over. I knew that everything was so surreal, so hard to believe. . And you know what? Reality sure has a funny way of hitting you head on. Cause on that fateful day, i woke up from deep slumber, realizing that the bulk of my illusion was just some dream. Obviously that was just part of wishful thinking. And soooo....here i am trying to make perfect sense of my life, just another troubled teenage girl making her way through this emotional mess.

THOSE DAY'S I WILL REMEMBER ALWAYS AND FOREVER.

 

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Posted by Krappypatti on June 28, 2006 at 10:51 PM | sing it loud so
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